———-
Dominique Strauss-Kahn, 62, was the head of the International Monetary Fund and
was expected to be the next president of France.
——–
A highly successful lawyer, an eminent economist, he was stylish, wealthy,
rode in chauffeur driven Porsches, flew first class, owned multi-million dollar
homes around the world and stayed at high-end luxury hotel suites.
——–
But last week, this finance whiz made a silly mistake.
——–
He emerged naked from the bathroom of his New York hotel suite, grabbed
the maid who was cleaning his room and tried to have sex with her.
——–
The media has called it disgraceful, sleazy, shameful, immoral and obnoxious.
——–
I call it a silly mistake.
——–
Strauss-Kahn’s mistake : he skipped the first 2 steps of the mating process and
proceeded directly to Step 3.
——–
The 3 steps of mating
From the time a man makes eye contact with a woman to the time he has sex
with her, a man has to go through three steps. Whether he does it in 5 minutes or
5 months, he has to go through the three steps in the exact same sequence.
- Step 1 : Attraction
- Step 2 : Comfort
- Step 3 : Seduction
——
—–
1) Attraction : Attraction happens when a man demonstrates higher value
than the the other men she has met or the other men nearby. Fortunately for men,
you don’t need to be rich or good looking to demonstrate high value. You can do it
by displaying a confident personality, by teasing her, by being interesting, by making
her laugh. In short, by making her feel “Wow, I hope this guy stays and continues
talking to me.” Only after a woman is attracted, can a man begin developing comfort
with her.
——
2) Comfort : In the Comfort stage, the man develops a rapport with the woman and
she begins to trust him. This is when you ask where she is from, what college she goes to,
what she likes to do after work, her favourite music, and all the other interview style
questions that most guys ask women as soon as they meet. Caution : Attempting to build
comfort BEFORE attraction, is the single most common mistake I see guys making.
——
3) Seduction : In the Seduction stage, you kiss and make love to her. Most Indians
begin their married life in the seduction stage, sadly. For most couples in arranged
marriages, their first real interaction happens during suhaag raat (the wedding night).
There is no attraction, no comfort, but directly seduction! Mistake. This is the reason
most brides experience pain during sex (it’s not because of hymen tearing). A woman is just
not ready for physical intimacy unless she is first attracted to the man and comfortable
with him. That’s why I suggest to guys in arranged marriages, to NOT have sex on the
wedding night, but spend the night creating attraction and comfort, and have sex the
following night.
—–
—–
If Strauss-Kahn had started by creating attraction and then developed some comfort
with the woman, he might have succeeded in seducing her. If she was not interested, she
would have indicated it, and he could have moved on without any drama. That’s the way
the game is played.
———–
Lessons we can learn from Strauss-Kahn’s mistake :
- No matter how rich and famous a man becomes, the skill of attracting women
does not automatically come to him. It must be developed separately, just like
you develop your tennis or golf skills.
———- - There are tons of rich and famous men who don’t get laid. Surprising but true.
———- - A man may drive a Porsche, fly first class, live in a 5 million dollar home (his Paris
home is worth that much) and be so powerful that he can pick up the phone and
talk to the head of state of any country, yet…without the skill to attract and seduce
women, he feels like a LOSER inside.
———– - Marriage does not automatically make you good at attracting and seducing women
(Strauss-Kahn was married thrice).